Trying to Conceive (TTC), especially after months or even years, can make sex feel like clockwork. Between tracking your cycle and fertile window, peeing on multiple pregnancy sticks, and scheduling sex like business meetings, it can start to feel a lot less pleasurable and more mechanical.
Sex doesn’t have to be less enjoyable even if you’re TTC. You can still have the butterflies, the laughter, and the wild passionate nights, while still keeping you’re eye on the fertile window. So, let’s discuss how to reignite the spark.
Ditch the Pressure
The fastest way to kill desire? Pressure! When sex turns into a fertility project, it starts to feel like a task, stress enters the chat, and once that happens, it makes things even harder.
High stress levels can throw your hormones off balance and affect your cycle, including when you ovulate. So, ironically, the more stressed you are about getting pregnant, the more difficult it might actually be.
So, try to shift the mindset from “We must have sex today” to “We get to connect again today”. Yes, still track your fertile days, but let them be a guide, and not a strict commandment.
Don’t Schedule Every Session
Yes, have sex during your fertile window, but mix things up! Having sex only during your fertile window can make it feel like boring homework. Try to be spontaneous and have some “just because I just want to” sex.
Reclaim the Playfulness
Flirt, experiment, send risky texts, and have wild date nights! TTC sex doesn’t have to be just missionary position in the bedroom. Arousal increases blood flow to your reproductive organs, which supports cervical mucus production and helps sperm move more easily. Include foreplay, try new positions, have sex on the couch or different places, and do what makes you feel good.
Make It A Team Sport
Fertility talk can sometimes put the emotional and physical load on one partner, in most cases, usually the woman. Tracking cycles, getting blood tests, and taking supplements and medications can be a lot.
But remember, getting pregnant is a team effort. Encourage your partner to get involved, too. Sperm health matters just as much as egg health. Lifestyle changes like reducing alcohol, eating well, and managing stress help both sides. When both of you share the process, sex starts feeling like a connection again, not a chore.
Take Breaks When You Need To
It’s okay to pause and breathe. Skipping a cycle to rest, travel, or just be intimate without the pressure can recharge your emotional batteries and may even help your body reset.
Final Thoughts
Sex while trying to conceive doesn’t have to feel like a job description. It’s okay to want a baby and still want the spark. The two don’t have to cancel each other out. The goal is to find the balance between planning and passion.
