If your first sex talk was filled with awkward coughs and ended with “don’t let a boy touch you or you’ll get pregnant”, then welcome. Somewhere between “don’t do it” and “just use a condom”, we missed the part where safe sex means so much more. For something that a lot of people are doing, it sure comes with a lot of misinformation – from your church auntie to online sex coaches, to even that very “knowledgeable friend” that, in reality, knows nothing (no shade but shade).
The truth is that safe sex is more than just using condoms. It’s about protecting your body, knowing your options, and actually enjoying sex without the anxiety of “what ifs”. This article is your real guide to safe sex — the one that talks about pleasure, protection, and everything in between.
Start With Consent
This is a non-negotiable. Consent isn’t just a trendy buzzword. It means both people actively saying yes, without pressure, guilt-tripping, gaslighting, or coercion.
Consent also means feeling free to change your mind halfway or to say “I’m not comfortable with that”. If you’re not sure whether your partner is comfortable, pause and ask, “Does this feel good?” or “Are you okay with this?” You might think this would kill the mood, but this kind of care is a turn-on.
Protection: Condoms and Beyond
This is the part everyone thinks they’ve already mastered — using condoms. They are great at protecting against STIs and pregnancy when used correctly. This means checking the expiry date, storing them away from heat, opening the pack gently (no teeth, please!), and so much more.
If you’re on a strict “avoid babies” for now timeline, then you can also add other forms of contraceptives, like hormonal or non-hormonal types, for your extra peace of mind.
You can read more about the condom mistakes you could be making that could get you pregnant or give you STIs here.
Get Regular STI Tests
If your way of preventing STIs is by hoping for the best and saying, “I reject it!” without taking active steps, then it’s time for a new plan.
The truth is that you can’t tell if someone has an STI by just looking. Many STIs show no symptoms at first, and you can pass them on or pick them up without even knowing.
Make sure you get routinely tested with your partner, and if something comes back positive? Don’t panic. Most infections are treatable or manageable. What is not okay is ignoring them without doing anything.
Lubrication
Dryness isn’t sexy. It can cause friction and tiny tears in your vaginal or anal lining, which increases the risk of infections and STIs.
This is why water-based or silicone-based lubes are your besties. They make things smoother and safer. Make sure to avoid oil-based products like shea butter, vaseline, or baby oils with latex condoms. They can actually weaken the condom and make it break.
Aftercare Is Just As Important
Pee after sex! We know you want some sweet cuddle time after sex, but don’t skip this step. It helps flush out bacteria and reduces your risk of getting Urinary Tract Infections (UTIs).
Clean up gently with mild soap and water and avoid douching (that is, spraying water or using scented soaps inside your vagina). It can disrupt your vaginal natural balance and cause more infections – the opposite of what you want.
If there was a slip-up like the condom breaking, then make sure to use emergency contraception within 3-5 days, but the sooner, the better. If you use sex toys, make sure to wash them properly.
If something feels off after sex, like pain, abnormal discharge, or bleeding, don’t just ignore it. Speak to a doctor because early treatment prevents complications and saves you from a lot of stress in the future.
Emotional Safety
Safe sex isn’t just about avoiding pregnancy and STIs. It’s also about feeling emotionally safe and respected.
If your partner guilt-trips you or makes you feel uncomfortable during sex, then that’s not a healthy dynamic.
Final Thoughts
Sex can be pleasurable and safe. One doesn’t have to cancel out the other. Safe sex is about knowing your body and mind, communicating what feels good and what doesn’t, while protecting yourself from infections and unwanted pregnancies.
